Do you think my story for english cl is good?

Its set in Hong Kong in china.The communists have just taken over on may 27,1949.Ai-Lu And her family have to flee from Shanghai(spell check) because her father is a prominent businessman with lots of money. Her family don't appreciate her as she Is a daughter in 1950's china and the only person who appreciates her is Her nei nei (Chinese for grandma) who pitys ai-lu. When they are escaping Nei nei is killed as her feet are bound and she cannot run and is caught by the army. Her mother was killed when she was giving birth to ai-lu so all her family hate her and consider er a bad omen. Her father remarried and the stepmother hates ai-lu. One morning she wakes p in the camp her family were staying in and she notices she's alone.Her family have left her. She gets help from a band of smugglers to help her escape to Japan and from there to australia. This is the plot so far :) Thanks very much and if you know any historical mistakes please tell me :D